Asheville: Veganburger In Paradise
By: Jesse Chong www.jessechong.net
Here we are in Asheville, NC after another pleasant ride in Russell's
camper. There's a music festival going on, but alas I'm contracted to play
a few miles from the fun at a venue that has become a familiar home to me.
I've played in four different Paradises but they all look the same.
While we stop in town, Russell asks two hip looking girls where the local
Cheeseburger In Paradise can be found. Without a hint of the judgmental
attitude that one might expect for asking such a question in the
ultra-liberal franchise-despising land of Asheville, one of the plentifully
pierced girls tells him, "Oh, that's down on corporate row.". She gives us
directions to "corporate row" and I feel like I've been condemned to
franchise death in a town of artistic individuality.
As I'm sitting in an organic foods cafe reading the city paper, a few quick
facts about Asheville catch my eye.
"The city hosts 40,000 lesbians and is rumored to have a giant crystal
hidden in the mountains which attracts its unique inhabitants."
At this point my left eyebrow raises- is this really the city paper? I pass
over an ad for Om the Organic Mechanic, "Tune In, Tune Up, and Check Out" is
their slogan. My right eyebrow proceeds to join the altitude of my left
one. I move on to the main story about the city's official drum circle that
meets every Friday night. I do a double take. City's official drum
circle!?! It seems that there's been a few complaints about the noise, and
it's caused some static between local residents and drummers. Ok, my
eyebrows relax and the lines on my forehead disappear. Intolerance is the
standard that I'm used to. But wait- here's a quote from the police chief.
"I ordered my men to stand down because I saw no reason to intervene in one
of the city's main cultural events and I wanted to encourage a dialogue
between the residents and drummers."
I start to wonder if Russell has dosed my miso soup with LSD.
The American Music Festival is an event in Va. Beach that celebrates great
American music with acts such as KC and the Sunshine Band and Sugar Ray.
Virginia Beach loves jet noise, hates gays and apparently, good music.
(Yours truly is honored to be playing in the American Music Festival so take
my jests for what they are).
Asheville's answer to this is the Bele Cher Music and Arts Festival.
Asheville loves drum circles, gays, and must hate freedom because they've
named their festival after the French. Some of the headliners for this
weekend's event are The Codetalkers, Govt. Mule, and Galactic. When the
city hires a band like Galactic to headline its official events you know
you're in good hands.
Unfortunately for me I'm playing the one place in Asheville that hippies
avoid like a hairbrush. A few times during my set I even forget that I'm in
a different city. The layout is exactly the same as Newport News and the
requests for "Brown Eyed Girl" are just as ubiquitous. Why is it that in a
town full of vegan music lovers I get a gig in the one drab place where
carnivores stare blankly into their margaritas?
I would love to come back to play in Asheville, but if it's going to be
cheese I'd prefer soy.